sabbatical

i'm not one of those people who has a 10 year plan. nor do i have a five or two year plan.
i don't have a timeline: promotion next month, masters in two years, married in three, children in five.
i know people who have plans like these...and i will be the first to admit that there is a touch of jealousy that i have for the drive and amibition that those people have. a desire to accomplish a, b, and c within a time period in order to move on to their next level or goal or place in their life.

then there's the other part of me that rejects the timeline (& the ambition). i'd like life to just run its course. i don't want to control where my day or year might take me. i like the element of surprise, the element that lets me believe i am where i am supposed to be because that is where i have ended up. i don't want to interfere too much with the cosmos, fate, or God's plan. (Not that i don't have my own desires or goals. I am hard working, but I'm just not that forward-thinking....or maybe i'm scared to fail, that I won't accomplish my goals by said date or time.)

but i've tried to do things my way, and it didn't turn out so well, you see. so i quit my job (after MUCH thought & discussions & prayer).
i'm on sabbatical. yes, that's what i've decided to call it. a sabbatical from the 9 to 5. yes, i do hope to return. well, i need to return because i have bills to pay.

i have a lot of goals for my sabbatical. you see, this is not a time for me to be lazy, sleep in and lounge around (although i've enjoyed my fair share of the pool & beach in my first few days off). i want to use this time to sketch out a plan. a plan that has room to move and breathe and change and grow, of course. a plan for my new healthy, balanced, live in the now, but think about the future life. a practical plan. which is real hard for me as an idealist. on this sabbatical i will be doing a lot of searching & discerning. (that doesn't sound like fun). a lot of putting pieces together. this should be good.